Jan 11, 2021

I Hate It Here: I Think We're Headed For A Breakdown, Gloria

Did any of us really think things were going to be different? Like, the second the minute turned from :59 to :00, what, magically everything is going to be different now? Biden won the Presidency and we might get the Senate and it's a New Year so Covid is over and everything is gonna turn out alright?


I've been incredibly lazy, and a fucking lot has happened since the last time I wrote one of these. It's hard to know what to focus on, because every week it seems like we sink further and further into this shitty timeline with no clear end in sight. This is a long one and probably not that good, but I had to get this stuff out while it's still fresh and somewhat current. Because if it's not current no one cares and I might as well just fart on my laptop for all the good this is going to do me. Are you ready, 24 Hour Outrage People? Here we go.


Thoughts And Prayers For The Youth of America


Two people shouldn't be dead over a car dealership. Because that's really what this is amounts to.  A 17 year old kid, surrounded by so-called “responsible gun owners”, was armed with a deadly weapon in a state he didn’t even live in guarding property that wasn’t his and that he wasn’t hired to guard even though, as he claims, “People are getting injured and our job is to protect this business.” That's a direct quote. He used the word job. In no rational reality can anyone call an untrained 17 year old wielding a rifle protecting someone else’s shit for no money a job. And given that there is no indication they were hired by anyone, I'm guessing he used the word "job" to describe what he was doing in the same way I describe what I do as "journalism". We're both fooling ourselves and desperate to appear legitimate, but hopefully I'm not gonna get anyone killed.


It's weird, because I do have empathy for this kid, if only because even if he beats the charges, which he there's a good chance he will, his life is still going to be fucked. He's garnering minor celebrity for killing two people. Self-defense or not, that seems like a serious personality flaw because it's hard to believe remorse is anywhere on this kid's radar. Maybe it is, but it seems highly unlikely since four months later he's out drinking wearing a t-shirt that says "Free As Fuck". This kid doesn’t need a beer, he needs a therapist


I think a lot of kids either need or are going to need therapy or some kind of help with their mental health. Consider this past year. It’s a lot to handle. Pandemics, protests, riots, a seemingly never ending parade of opportunistic jerkoffs and self righteous assholes all doing their best to shout louder than everyone else with their uninformed opinion, while any semblance of leadership falls apart at the highest levels of government. Hell, look at all the adults that are snapping, people who should be equipped to deal with adult situations.


And through it all, I am sure there are thousands of kids falling through the cracks and getting nowhere near the level of support that they need. It’s no wonder that so many police calls wind up being because of mental health issues; sick kids turn into sick adults but now they become the system’s problem. I sometimes wonder how so many politicians sleep at night, knowingly cutting the funding that helps the least fortunate just so their donors can deposit even more money into offshore bank accounts. And then I remember that the soulless need no sleep.


I can't imagine the circle of people around this kid. If it's the same kind of people who think a 17 year old heading off to guard a car dealership with a deadly weapon is a good thing to do, then I doubt he has learned anything from the situation and feels fine about the fact that two people are dead. I wouldn't be, and I really hope I don't know anyone who would. Whoever forbid I am ever in the situation where it's my life or theirs and against every honest bone in my body I come out alive, I can't imagine I would feel good about it.


But he's also a kid, and kids are stupid and always looking for answers in the wrong places. I'm 33, and I'm still stupid and looking for answers in the wrong places, but at least I have some life experience to draw on before making bad decisions. Not to mention how brainwashing the media has become in this stupid, fearful country. I'm glad I came of age when I did, before social media really sank it's claws into our souls and drove us mad. Now imagine being that young and impressionable and having all these people both in real life, in the media and online probably calling you a hero after putting yourself in a dumb situation that you never should have been in and killing two people as a result of police negligence.


Although, given the videos that show the cops basically giving their blessing to this whole sorry affair, I'm not sure negligence is the right word. It's not negligence when you're supporting armed militias after your boss repeatedly denied their request to help because he's not a complete moron and knows that untrained and armed civilians with heavy right wing views are not going to mix well with left-leaning, highly pissed off and also possibly armed protesters. I think complicit is a better word. I don't know, what would you call it?


Between Some Rocks And A Porn Shop


Speaking of calling things for what they are, this is probably the best segue I'm going to be able to think of to lead into the circus that was the 2020 Election, which seems to still be going on, somehow. I was really hoping the election cycle would be over by now, but no. It's still on going and still as pointless as ever.


I live in a country with 330 million people, and I can honestly say that only around, I dunno, 85 million are sane people and see this shit for what it is. Even with the recent actions of The Beast, which we will absolutely get to, it still doesn't matter who is President or who controls the Senate or which religious asshole they put on the Supreme Court. And it doesn't matter because there is no honesty left in this country, and so many of us are so comfortable that we're okay with the perpetual misery that our system causes for so many of us, both at home and abroad.


I really don't care if the election was stolen or not. There, I said it. I just fucking don't. I'm sure all five of you reading this are raising your eyebrows at me, but whatever. Do I honestly think it was stolen? Nah, not really. I'm sure there was some fuckery, same as every election we get involved in, but if the Democrats really did try to steal the election, why would they only target Trump? And the Republicans know it, because according to them, somehow only the part with the President was fraudulent. The most logical way to explain Trump losing and a lot of Republicans winning is simple: a lot of Republicans voted for Biden this time around, but still voted R down the rest of it. And if they really had anything, all of these judges who were APPOINTED BY THE BEAST wouldn't have thrown this shit out of court. And yeah, it's funny to watch Rudy melt under the lights and Sidney Barron get sued for a billion dollars, but whether or not the election was stolen is a moot point because Joe Biden isn't going to do shit to change anything and apparently very few of us fucking know it. How anyone can think a career asshole and his VP who is not only happy to but somehow eager to lock up innocent people is going to change our systemically racist for-profit justice system is beyond me. Not to mention health care.


I don't know how anyone can defend that walking science room skeleton Pelosi, who is just as responsible for us not having affordable health care as any of the other bog monsters. I just looked it up and of course, one of her largest contributions last election cycle came from the healthcare industry, but like every politician, her largest donor was Retired, which basically means people that list "retired" on their financial statements, so, in a word: boomers.


Apologies to my parents, even when I think only one of them reads this, but of course the generation that profited off the successes of the generation before them while yelling at the rest of us to just get a better job is responsible for the shit situation that we're in. And yeah, I'm generalizing, but I've honestly had enough of these fucking assholes. The economy we have today is nowhere near the same as the economy we had in your day, and it's your unflappable resolve to never understand that fact is a huge part of what's holding us back. That and 90 Day Fiancé.


But going back to Pelosi, she's scum. You know it, I know it, we all know it. Hate Mitch McConnell all you want, and I do to the point that I am having a BBQ when that evil fuck finally collapses and hopefully cracks his skull on the way down, but at least he leans into his awfulness, lays it all bare and says "What are you gonna do about it, Kentucky?" who always seem to resolutely answer "Nothing at all." Pelosi loves to pretend she's part of the #resistance, but like the rest of the corporate Democrats, she raises up one fist while holding the knife she plans to plunge in our collective backs with the other. What's even more disheartening, however, is the weak response from the "progressive" wing of the party.


And I use the term "progressive" loosely, because I don't know any self-respecting progressives who keep entrenching themselves in the very games they claim to hate, but that's all this has come down to. Just a fucking game to the lot of them. We reached four thousand dead in a day from Covid a couple days ago, but like everything else we desperately need, apparently now is not the time to fight for it.


Which perfectly leads me into this last part.


Well That’s A Fine How Do You Coup


The way the media called the Ukraine scandal "Stupid Watergate", I've been calling the Capitol Riots "Stupid Fort Sumter" in my head. Because that's what it was. A bunch of stupid, probably poor racists with no real plan goaded on by a bunch of rich fucks from the south, some living, some dead. And by dead, I literally mean the Confederacy considering how many stars and bars I saw being waved around.


Not that I really give that much of a shit. It's hard for me to keep a straight face every time people talk about the Capitol building being desecrated when it's the same building where people vote to murder children halfway around the world. Whatever little dignity or sanctity that building held has been gone for a long time, if it ever did have any to begin with.


It doesn't bother me that average citizens stormed the Capitol. It bothers me that they did it at the behest of The Beast. And there is no denying that, considering many of those arrested are using the excuse of "The President told me to do it." thinking they were following his orders. There is no benefit of the doubt to be given here when you consider his rhetoric for the past all of his life. We put a delusional senior citizen who does nothing but watch TV, golf and tweet about everyone being his enemy in a position of enormous power. This was not going to end well, no matter what the outcome of the election.


It's depressing, really, to think about. It wasn't for civil rights or healthcare or education or anything of actual material importance. It was to keep the boot on our necks, squeezing out the oxygen while hallucinating having our very own golden toilets. Which is really the crux of the whole issue. So many in this country have been warped out of their own humanity that this really was only a matter of time, and because of the culture we created and the way we've learned to look at each other as the enemy, it was only ever going to be over something stupid.


But I am worried, because it's clear that people in the government were okay with this happening, whether it was the Capitol police who opened the barriers for those idiots with no plan, except to probably murder a bunch of politicians, or the fact that people have been planning something like this all over the internet and somehow no one in the government picked up on it and planned accordingly. There is no excuse for such a weak response, only the glaring truth that something really fucked up is going to happen in the future.


This didn't begin with The Beast, and it is not going to end with him, impeachment or not. Would I like to see him impeached? Yes. It would be hilarious to watch him be stripped of everything that Dronebama got after leaving the White House, but it would be meaningless, if only because I have a feeling we're going to see a large rise in domestic terrorism over the next few years. And if we do, we're really not going to have any choice other than to call it The Trumples, because like a lot of what we do, it's just a more stupid version of something that has already happened. And is that the point we're at in our history now? We just keep repeating the same mistakes and get dumber every time?


People have every right to be mad, but for whatever reason, we are incapable of being mad at the right things. All I see is people punching down, whether you're on the left and shitting all over the poor who go to Wal-Mart for Duck Dynasty merchandise or you're on the right and for whatever deeply troubling reason someone else's sexuality affects you. Don't mistake this as a call for civility, because it's not. We should be angry, very fucking angry, because the biggest profits always seem to come from our collective misery, and whether it's billionaires, politicians or billionaire politicians, the punching is coming from the top. I guess shit really does roll downhill.


I'm not quite sure how to end this, so maybe abruptly will probably be best. There's just too much. I didn't even mention the Christmas Day bombing in Nashville or the weirdness of a guy who said we'll always remember him without him killing people, which is what really sticks out to me as odd. I realize you can't rationalize crazy, but his whole reason for doing the bombing was, according to him, to be remembered, but how the fuck can anyone remember anything these days? There's a new headline almost every day. I can't even remember his name, and usually I'm good with this shit. As I write this Pelosi is threatening to impeach if Pence doesn't evoke the 25th in the next 24 hours, which is even more fucking grandstanding from these assholes. Just fucking impeach. Hold to some kind of conviction.


One more thing: who knew the soundtrack to the revolution was going to be "Gloria" by Laura Branigan?


Aug 28, 2020

I Hate It Here: Lee Greenwood Is History's Greatest Monster

Fine.


You know what, America?


You win. You fucking win.


Bomb all the countries you want, murder and imprison all the innocent you want, lie as much and take as much and fuck us over as much as you god damn want.


But I never want to hear that fucking Lee Greenwood song ever again for as long as I may live.


I envy the deaf every time I hear it. And I know that's fucked up to say, but seriously, that song somehow sends me into a rage greater than I have ever known while simultaneously strangling whatever emotions I have in me until there is nothing left but a shell. It’s just the worst kind of lame. The kind of shit that people play to show their patriotism even though every time that song plays a bald eagle drops dead out of the sky. I bet The Beast hates it too, And I bet right now he’s thinking of a song that actually has any kind of artistic merit without being sued again.


I'm currently listening to and half-watching The Beasts second coronation as the leader of neoconservatism, which is almost as bad as neoliberalism. At least neoconservatism doesn't hide what it's motives are. The shit is there for everyone to smell. It's those NIMBY fucks you really gotta watch out for.


It's sad, really. I used to view the Republican Party, and a lot of people probably won't believe this, as at the very least a worthy enemy. Of course, we're talking at least fifteen years ago, just when social media was starting to emerge and we still had some respect for the news. Before Iraq, before everything just seemed to fall apart at the seams. No wonder my generation is so fucking damaged. Largest terrorist attack on American soil, two wars that are somehow still going on because opium is such a cash crop and every year we lose more and more respect for each other and ourselves thanks to us never learning how to use the internet as responsible people.


I don't know how any of you real conservatives can stand it. I get why the Evangelicals have latched on. They're lunatics. But you guys? I mean I realize Fox News has had a monopoly on your news for what seems like forever and it's getting harder and harder to find fair, unbiased coverage but I know there are a lot of you out there that look at this and can't believe it.


What I don't understand is how any of you can believe this shit I'm hearing dribble out of his mouth right now. How can any of you believe that Joe Biden is a socialist or that the Democrats are as controlled by the progressive wing as The Blaze wants to tell you? Look at the man's voting record, his bills for fucks sake.


The rhetoric is unbelievable. Well, almost unbelievable. We've had almost four years of this shit. And so many of you lap it up. Joe Biden is not a leftist, the same way The Beast is not any sort of Christian, and that so many of you who claim to be faithful but aren't lunatics still believe in him is nothing short of just plain depressing to me.


And The Beast went there. I fucking knew it. I said to myself, "He is absolutely going to mention Biden being a fucking creep." and man did he go there.


Like I said, I knew he would. And this is why I can’t take the GOP seriously anymore, at least not anyone who isn’t in office because like I say ad nausea, the only true ideology of either parties elected officials is “Gimme, gimme, gimme!”


You were the supposed moral arbiters of America. The party that wanted to put warning labels on my rock and roll albums and lock me up forever over a gram of coke. But now you’ve somehow become the party of crass loudmouths who have given up any semblance of dignity. Is the irony of militias with “Don’t Tread on Me” tatted on their foreheads allying themselves with state-sanctioned protectors of property lost on all of you? I mean jesus christ, when it’s the liberals telling you that something is too far maybe it fucking is. And these bullshit calls for civility. I’m tired of hearing about civility from the right when they elected a guy who sued his wife over calling him a rapist in her memoirs. 


Oh, you utter piece of shit. You got Nora you killed you absolutely evil cum stain on the eye of the world. How fucking dare you talk about betrayals and endless wars when you approved a mission that everyone told you was a bad idea and have only increased troop presence in the Middle East.


You were broke, and you have done nothing but spend our money on your golf trips. Millions of dollars that have now lined his pockets because of course every golf trip had to involve a trip to a Beast owned course. It has not been America First, it has never been America First. It's been You Rich Assholes First and the rest of us need to fight over what's left.


I just turned it off. I can't listen to the repetition anymore. I admit there has been good done, seemingly at times in spite of this prick, but it's all meaningless because it's nothing more than a rapid expansion of a corporate police state. The problem with the Democrats is that it's so natural you don't even notice it. Sure, they let gay people marry and might not mind if you smoke a j now and then, but it's nothing short of theater when they're taking the same money as the douche bags on the other side of the aisle. But now, when you have Democratic mayors charging protesters with felonies for buying paint and people like Jane Castor who simply switched over to the Dems so she could run in Tampa but has made her disdain for any type of meaningful change to the police department rather clear, how does anyone even tell the difference anymore?


It's like there isn't even two parties, it's just a bunch of assholes running around doing shit and getting people killed. They fill their fridges full of coconut water and go on vacation while millions of Americans are facing food and housing crises and The Beast just stands on top of the White House and shouts at the pigeons that if it wasn't for Joe Biden he totally would have had a shot with Miss America in 1992.


And everyone looks and just goes, "Huh." It's like we just cannot care anymore. There is nothing left. I keep shouting about how it doesn't matter who we vote for because none of these people have our best interests at heart and it's just, "Change takes time." Like, no shit, but what has really changed? Everything, but not in a good way. Somehow, and this includes me, we keep getting dumber and dumber and falling for the same old shit. The Beast is no outlier. This is the new normal. Pelosi, Schumer, all these fucks will capitalize on it if they win, but I see that as pretty unlikely given the corpse they've chosen to carry their battle standard into the future. And now Pelosi wants to cancel the debates, which means she might as well just come out and say that Biden has trouble with his sentences.


The Beast has laid bare everything wrong with the system, and in no meaningful way have the Democrats tried to fight it. Think about how many stories we've heard this year, even in the past couple of months, that should be bigger but given how often they spew out this shit it's remarkable anyone is able to keep track of anything.


Kelly Anne Conway should have been fired a long time ago for her blatant violations of the Hatch Act. Mitch McConnell's wife definitely needs to be investigated, but they fired the investigators so I guess that will never happen. The Beast has clearly been enriching himself and his family, but I don't think any of them actually have the stomach to try to remove him. A lot of those Emolument Clause charges were pretty stupid, if I'm remembering correctly plus we all knew that impeachment was going nowhere. And DeVos definitely needs to be investigated, because I want to know just what her and her war criminal brother were doing on the board of that Build The Wall company, you know, the one that Bannon just got arrested for because the whole thing was just a scam. That last bit of obvious corruption was buried at the bottom of a Reuters article, and I haven't seen anything about it since and I probably won't anymore. But the country is on fire and untrained 17 year old's are killing people to protect dry cleaners so I get it, it's hard to keep track right now.


And I know, everyone wants things to go back to normal. But I don't think it's going to. I think we're in for a hard, cold winter and it will be a while before we see the light again. I have some hope, mostly I hope I'm wrong, but there is hope that somehow we can come out better than this, that we can find our common decency again and remember that to be an American is to stand in solidarity and lend your neighbor a hand, whether he's conservative or liberal or an illegal immigrant, fleeing a country we indebted and fucked up and who has traveled hundreds of miles just to be exploited at the hands of American industry.


A majority of people just aren't getting it yet, and while we blame the unemployed and can’t seem to accept the simple truth that Black Lives Matter and there is still work to be done, they keep doing whatever the fuck they want and we let them as long they let us get haircuts and go out to eat.


Seriously though, I really could forgive all of it if I never have to hear that Lee Greenwood song again.

Aug 24, 2020

I Hate It Here: This Machine Kills Children

 I finally fully understand why Spider went up a god damn mountain and why Hunter lived far fucking away from the rest of you.


I realize I sound like a paranoid crazy person, but a paranoid is just someone with all the facts, and were the facts blood I would be drowning right now. Not that our American Empire has ever lacked for blood. I can't stand the killing anymore. I just fucking can't. Whether it's Black Americans being gunned down in the streets or entire Afghan wedding parties being wiped off the map, it's all just too goddamn much.


I know I said I was gonna do a whole thing on the DNC, but I just fucking can't. I watched the first night and live tweeted it (follow @schwabthedeck for my off the cuff half baked statements), and I’ve decided that's about all I can stomach. I watched ten minutes of Kamala's speech, but all I could think about were the hundreds of innocent Americans she helped keep locked up. I'd be a real fucking hypocrite to support that shit and still protest the unceasing brutality that is the American justice system. And then I watched Biden's speech, which I forced myself to watch all of.


And it was just as I expected, more meaningless rhetoric from a tired, dead-eyed old man with nothing to give but the possibility of a Harris presidency. The whole thing is disgusting and the fact that anyone still supports this shit boggles my mind, the biggest traitors being anyone who left the Democrats just to join up with the sociopaths at the GOP, who blindly follow The Beast no matter how naked he marches up and down the streets to the tune of every other fascist fuck to ever walk the earth. And these monkeys keep clanging their cymbals and so many of you keep falling for it.


But back to the killing.


Does it really not bother any of you? Does it really not bother you that everything we do and a sizable amount of our money goes to extrajudicial killings abroad? I realize I am just as much a part of that system as anyone else, but god damn it will I find a way to get the fuck out of Dodge.


The amount of illegally murdered civilians is honestly too numerous to mention here, so there are two particular murders I'm going to focus on: One committed by Obama, the murderous psychopath you all seem to revere, and another by The Beast, who is every bit the boogeyman so many of you know he is but seem to refuse to do anything about the system that him put there in the first place. Also, point of order, considering the fuckery of our government, there is no clear count of how many innocent people we've turned into hamburger, so I'm going to type two names now, and I want you to remember two things about these children, I repeat children, that our government so callously murdered in the name of "national defense". Before I dive into this, though, I just want to remind everyone reading this that I am not privy to any special information. It's just nobody seemed to care about anything until a Pandemic took their job and a cop took an innocent man's life over a twenty dollar bill.


Abdulrahman al-Awlaki


Nawar "Nora" al-Awlaki


They were children. Abdulrahman was 16, Nawar only eight years old. They were both U.S. citizens, and they deserved way more than they got. I don't care what kind of family they were born into, I don't care why they were where they were, I don't care about any of that and neither should anyone else. How anyone can justify the murder of children, especially the murder of children by their very own government, is beyond foreign to me and quite frankly, that is a country I will never visit. So I hope you all have fun in Whogivesashitville, capital city of the nation of Fuckitall. But this is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night, along with all the other evil fuckery our government gets up to in the name of freedom and security.


Abdulrahman's father was Anwar al-Alaki, a suspected terrorist who was murdered extra judicially only two weeks before his son. And before you death junkies start fapping away at that sentence, you should know that Anwar al-Alaki was an American citizen, which, like it or not, entitles him to the same due process as you or I, and that definitely doesn't mean being placed on a C.I.A. kill list by the president. But who gives a fuck about due process when you're fighting a war you started in countries that you have never officially declared war on.


This is the absolute insanity that I drown myself in constantly and frankly it's no wonder people tell me to seek help because I don't know how I'm supposed to stay sane in a country that drops the word democracy almost as much as it drops bombs.


I don't know why Abdulrahman was there at the time the drone strike took his life, and apparently neither does the U.S. government. He never should have died to begin with, because quite honestly we should not be dropping bombs in countries that we are not at war with in any area where there could be civilian casualties because I thought we were better than that, but maybe I could move past it, if not for two things.


First, there's the absolute callousness within the government for the death of a U.S. citizen. Former White House press secretary and awful human being Robert Gibbs was quoted as saying, "I would suggest that you should have a far more responsible father if they are truly concerned about the well-being of their children." Let that sink in for a moment. The White House press secretary, after his boss illegally murdered a father and son, placed the blame on the father. So I guess, according to the Obama administration, if a kid dies because of a negligent or abusive parent it's the kids fault. Awesome. Thanks, Obama.


Second, and I can't even believe I'm gonna type this because it doesn't feel real that I'm typing it, but it wouldn't be so bad if The Beast didn't order the eventual murder of Abdulrahman's little sister.


She shouldn't be dead. I don't fucking care who is going to try to tell me otherwise. She was a child and she was murdered so The Beast could look like a big man. Again, I don't give a fuck about why she was in the house. Every article I read about the raid that got her killed has either the word "risky", "botched" or some other similar word to describe an operation that never should have been ordered. They were planning that raid well before The Beast came into power, so no shit this vain cockstain decides to go through with it, just to show the world that he has the balls he claimed to have on the campaign trail. Well, congratulations you utter piece of shit, your total vanity cost an 8 year old American citizen her life.


Again, I really don't know how any of you can stand for this shit and I don't know how it doesn't drive you crazy to know that your tax dollars keep going towards utter horror like this no matter who you vote for. Do any of you honestly believe Joe Biden is going to draw down our troop strength in the Middle East? His DNC speech made literally NO MENTION of foreign policy of any kind, at least that I can remember through the absolute disgust I have for that dead-eyed lying prick.


Quite honestly, it's just laziness at this point. Everyone acts concerned but they're too god damn lazy to look for other options, or somehow, even after the D.N.C. stole Wisconsin from Bernie Sanders or The Beast drove the public health into the ground so the stock market could keep humming, everyone is still just too happy to play up the two party game.


Fuck. That.


You people had three and half years to explore other options and candidates, and because you were all too busy watching political theater and wiping the greasy smudges off your opera glass, somehow it will be my fault if The Beast gets another four years? Fucking spare me your nonsense.


Even now, you could all change your minds. We're still three months from the election, and not a single one of you are excited about voting Old/Cop or Beast/Sociopath and you know it. But keep on with that hope and change man, because that shit worked so well when Obama was building cages and wondering how he could get a bullet in the back of Edward Snowden's skull.


This isn't about "taking a stand against the system", this about no longer being party to extrajudicial murder while minority communities continue to suffer at the hands of a racist and cruel justice system. It already disgusts me that I'm paying for it, but I'll be fucking damned if I'm gonna keep voting for it.


Fuck.


I need to find a god damn mountain.


Aug 18, 2020

I Hate It Here: El Zucko's Magical Misery Machine

Addiction.


I can only imagine all the images that word conjures up. Heroin needles and rolled up dollar bills, empty bottles and roach clips. Drugs can be fucked up, no question, if you're reckless and don't do any research beforehand. Don't get me wrong, there was a time where if someone handed me a fist full of pills I would think, "Why not?" But I was lucky. There were definitely some close calls, but nothing too serious. And considering the friends I've lost, there is definitely a survivor's guilt there. I may never have touched heroin, but I was dumb enough to sign up for Facebook.


Mark Zuckerberg is the biggest drug dealer on the planet, and I doubt even he knows it. Social media addiction is a real thing, and it's something I'm fighting right now. Permanently deleting Facebook is the first step in taking my life back from social media, but it's going to be a long road. We've made it nearly impossible to be a part of society without some kind of social media connection, and considering I'm hoping this website will turn into something more than just me going off at the hip, I'm still going to need some form of social media to promote it.


But fuck if this isn't all just completely disgusting. You guys are fucking morons. And I'm sorry, because while there are a few of you I don't think about that way, the rest of you, I don't even know what to fucking say. Falling for 4Chan and right wing troll traps if you're a conservative, or if you're on the left, saying you would literally vote for Hitler if he was Biden's running mate after spending three and half fucking years comparing The Beast to Hitler. And what's worse is, the comparisons are actually becoming more numerous by the day, but plenty of people have stopped listening. That is to say, the people that need to be convinced The Beast is gonna fuck us all in the ass and wipe his cock on our hair have covered their ears and bent over. Disgusted? Good. Because again, this is all disgusting.


But this column isn't about The Beast, it's about the crazy emotional high we all seem to get off of the internet. Whether it's sharing memes that are just plain retarded, sharing articles from news sites that literally state they are satire and taking them at face value or sharing embarrassing videos of people on their worst days or just at their most human, I want to vomit at all of it. I realize it sounds like I'm riding the high horse up Morality Mountain, but that isn't it. I'm just tired of watching the same people asking for civility and showing no compassion for their fellow man. We've all done it, but now it's time to stop.


I know this is an addiction because of the amount of times I've tried to wean myself off. And it never works, so now it's time to go cold turkey. I might wind up needing to just smash my phone, but that would keep me completely locked out of society. Think on that and then keep bitching about Obama helping people get phones. Yeah, he deserves to be locked up in the Hague, but not for that.


None of you can tell me you don't get off on some of this, liberal or conservative. The videos may be different, the memes different templates and the articles from across the broad spectrum of bullshit that we call news today, but the sentiment is always the same. Ignorance and nastiness, and fuck if the Zuck isn't fapping on a pile of money knowing what he's doing to society.


Or a giant rock, if he is the lizard person we think he is.


I'm still wondering how it got this bad though, that even people who want to claim they take the high road never really seem to do it. I can still remember when MySpace first came onto the scene, and I'm sure a lot of us could tell this wasn't going to end well. And as much as I hate those fucking memes, Tyson is right, we all have forgotten what it's like to get punched in the mouth for something you say. I'm not advocating violence, but I am at the point where I don't care if someone swings on me. Someone has to say this shit.


Whether you're a jerkoff leftist who will preach about compassion for the poor and then give those same poor shit for joining the military when you damn well know they probably had no other options, or some right wing fuck who wants to scream about how all the Democrats are in a pedo ring when it was The Beast who put Alex Acosta, the guy who let Jeffrey Epstein off when they found LITERAL CHILD PORN in his home, in charge of the Department of Labor. I feel like a broken record at this point, but human trafficking also falls under the purview of the Department of Labor. But by all means, go on about how $46,000 on hot dogs is weird. Like these rich fucks weren't ordering the most expensive gourmet shit they can find.


Do I think Bill Clinton is a rapist? Yes. Do I think The Beast is a rapist? Yes. But this is my point. Everyone is so quick to get partisan that they forget the class divisions. It doesn't matter if you're Jeff Bezos or Rupert Murdoch, there comes a point where we need to realize that none of them, no matter what the letter next to their name says, have any of the interests of the working class at heart, the people who actually make this country work. You would think a pandemic would incite a little class solidarity. Guess not.


And god damn, do I love the irony coming from the right with their full-throated support of billionaires but at the same time going after George Soros and Bill Gates for having "undue influence." Like, if you morons can't see that the very problem is that they wield influence like that because they are that rich, then I have nothing more to say to you.


But I'm getting off topic again. Facebook is basically heroin. A quick high that is slowly destroying your brain. I only have the brain cells I have left because I would occasionally deactivate. I bet a lot of you don't even realize how much time you spend on there, especially in the currently charged climate. But I can guarantee it's a lot. And I know, because I'm on like all the time.


According to Statista.com, Facebook is expected to have 223.2 million users in the U.S., which is three million more than there were in 2018. That's two thirds of the country hooked on Zuckerberg's digital smack, and like the worst drugs, it's cheap and easily accessible. If you wanna talk about undue influence, especially considering how plainly Zuckerberg has made it clear he doesn't care about anything other than money, we need to talk about that. All it seems to be doing is making us dumber. I know Zuckerberg knows that both ethically and morally he is doing the wrong thing, but I highly doubt he's losing sleep over it.


Also like the worst drugs, the comedown is fucking terrible. Can any of you honestly say that you actually feel better after being on Facebook for any extended amount of time? It feels great while you're doing it up to a certain point, and then the rush fades away and you're left wondering why you just spent two hours scrolling through shit that isn't even really that funny and when did that family member get so racist? Honestly, I would rather blow through an ounce of coke and feel suicidal than deal with this shit anymore.


So that's it. Twenty four hours after I post this, I'm gone. And I'm really hoping it sticks, because I cannot do this anymore. Life is bad enough right now, I don't need to feel any worse. And that's all it's doing at this point.


I want to give Zuckerberg the benefit of the doubt, but if he is as smart as he acts like he is, he would've recognized how bad this shit was gonna get years ago. But he decided to completely ignore it, especially after they launched their IPO. But tell me again how greed is not the problem. What was it that Jesus said about camels and rich men? You know, that guy you are ALL so proud of quoting. But fuck if Jesus wouldn't whip most of you like the moneylenders for how little compassion you show your fellow man, liberal or conservative.


I'm not here to tell anyone what to do. You are all adults and can make your own decisions, but with election season coming up we really need to take stock of what's important and what exactly our values are, and these cannot be our values. I'm just as guilty as everyone else of this behavior, but I'm making a conscious decision to stop and I implore you all to do the same.


The worst part about it, and the reason I've been so reluctant to get rid of it in the first place, is because it's become so ingrained in our culture (remember, 220 million users) that how else can I keep in touch with everyone? It really does make it so easy, but maybe that's the problem. It shouldn't be this easy. All relationships take work, and there is very little actual work happening on Facebook.


So I guess this is goodbye to a bunch of you. I'll miss you all, I really will. But we're headed down a bad track and the conductor is doing nothing but shouting "Faster!" while shoveling coal like a madman. This train is about to go off the rails, and we are coming up on a rather populated city.


I hope we can correct it, but I think we passed the track switch a couple years ago.

Jul 8, 2020

I Hate It Here: President West? President Best! or Why This Is Even A Thing

I can't believe I'm about to write what I'm about to write, but I think it's important I do, so everyone can understand that I haven't gone crazy.


Yes. I would vote for Kanye West for President.


But only because, unfortunately, I see it as the only way to kill the two party system. The system we all love to hate, but for whatever reason just can't bring ourselves to undo. It would be easy. Just don't vote for these fucks. There's always another candidate. But no one wants to be the first to do it. It's not hard to see why, considering the vast amounts of money it takes to run. Who has the time or resources to fight what these assholes bring to the table?


Most of us don't. And I realize that as I write this, there are people with almost nothing to their name fighting and literally dying to change a four hundred year old increasingly powerful and armed system. But that’s part of it, because that system, and the one I’m going to write about, protect each other.


In a 2018 interview with Charlamagne tha God, Kanye West said that his presidency would be "the Trump campaign and maybe the Bernie Sanders principles. That would be my mix."


We need to think about that statement, and what it means in the context of modern American politics.


As I type this, America is going through turmoil that we haven't seen in some time. And in a large way, yes, this is absolutely the fault of The Beast. There is no denying that. His pandemic response was awful, his economic policies still worse, a veritable Republican wet dream. But how is it that the system is so fragile that somehow he was able to upend it? This is The Beast. He has no ideology, nothing in his head but waking up everyday just so he can fuck someone else over. There is no morality there, ill or good. Just a worms for brains white man with a lot of money who was never told no. This is our President. god bless america.


But since people seem to love analogies so much, I have one for you.


"A bull is gonna do what he's gonna do. But how is the china shop run so badly that he got in there in the first place?"


The answer isn't as complicated as it seems, but you need to pull back far enough to get a clear picture. The fact is our country is run by corporations. And this isn't a conspiracy either. Both the D.N.C. and the R.N.C. are private organizations, whose authority only comes from their ability to get people elected. That's what I mean by it not being so complicated. And it's going to take more than adding term limits to fix them. There have been studies which support this, but it lays bare an even bigger problem. Politics is a profession, and like any profession it takes time to learn the ropes. But since a large share of our employees are business people or lawyers, it's not hard to see why the government doesn't care about anyone else. And the two major employers are basically involved in price fixing.


Neither of these corporations are really beholden to the people but only one has a system which actually does make sure of that, that fact having been proven in court as far as the D.N.C. is concerned. That means it's up to the shareholders. They can elect whoever they want to run our lives. And this is going to get a lot of people I know angry, but that doesn't make it less true: the GOP, the gerrymandering, voter suppressing assholes that they are, actually do have a fairer primary. You don't have to be a registered Republican, unlike the D.N.C., to vote. Also, there are no superdelegates. This allows the voters to retain control of the election process. Simply put, this is how Donald Trump was able to get in, while Bernie Sanders got shut out.


Say what you will about Bernie Sanders' campaign against Biden, 2016 was a lot closer than anyone, especially the D.N.C., wants to admit. Bernie lost by a thousand delegates, but only by 3 million in the popular vote. That's a disparity that is blinding to anyone, even in sunglasses. Had independents not been locked out of the vote, things could have wound up very differently for Hillary Clinton.


And I voted for Sanders in the primary this time around the same as last, because I refuse to vote for Joe Biden. I refuse to let private corporations run my life any longer.


Honestly, vote however you want. I'm not going to tell anyone what to do. I'm going to be honest about those in power, because I'm real sick of electing war criminals to the highest office in the land, but I'm not going to get aggressive with how anyone votes. At least not anymore. Because this is the game now, and they've pretty much won.


We can feel the aggression anytime anyone mentions Sleepy Creepy Joe or The Beast. We're at each other's throats. Somehow they've been able to convince us to split up families, just because they've stirred up so much fear that we have white people who are oblivious to the fact that Black Lives Matter does not mean White Lives Matter Less. That is the most ignorant take a person can have, but ignorance isn't hard to believe in a country that continuously slashes education budgets while doing nothing to legitimately prepare people for life, or at least life in the context of the society that we created.


Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, fuck, even OAN; argue all you like how they should be more fair and balanced, but the fact is they are under no obligation to do so. And why would they? What business has ever reversed course and risked profits for the sake of the public good without being held at gunpoint? After all, as the song goes, "One is fun, why not two? And if you like two, you might as well have four, and if you like four, why not a few? Why not a slew? More!"


The problem is money, and not even the most liberal of CNN commentators would ever really admit it. The conservatives have a point. The government is massive, an industry in itself. It creates thousands of jobs, and not just the ones you're probably thinking of. It's effect on the entertainment industry is staggering, especially considering the amount of political entertainment that has popped up over the last few years, and while the line has blurred for some time now, it's starting to disappear completely.


For anyone who disagrees, I can only pose the question: When is the last time you watched C-Span?


I already know what the answer probably is for most of you, and congressional hearings so you can have something to say at the water cooler don't count. I'm just as guilty of this, and that really needs to stop.


Politics has always fueled our culture, as much as no one wants to talk about politics in "polite society", which has always been a fantasy to shield us from our own demons. And when has polite society ever been entertaining? The more we blur the line between entertainment and government, the worse our politics and our government is only going to get.


That's not to say that there is no merit to political entertainment. One of the most important aspects of a free society is freedom of speech, and that means being able to say whatever you want about the government, no matter who is in power. We need political entertainment, especially satire, to lay bare the fact that the powerful are only human, whether it's The Beast or George Washington. 


There is a difference, however, between shows like House of Cards and the last season of Parks and Recreation. One is fiction, and good fiction always has some element of truth to it. The other is just creating a cult of personality around the powerful, and with the way we've turned celebrities and their lives into a fetish in this country, it's no wonder our politicians are getting away with whatever they want, no matter which of the two private corporations they belong to.


It's even worse with the way the news industry has gotten over the years, and quite honestly it's going to take more than just reinstating the Fairness Doctrine to fix it. The Fairness Doctrine is from a time when I couldn't get on a live stream and beam directly into someone's living room, spouting whatever nonsense I wanted and getting them to believe me based on guile alone. If we believe in progress in this country, then we need to understand that includes almost every aspect of the society we created, including how we not only access information, but how we verify its accuracy and keep people from being easily duped. But with no checks on ourselves, D.C. is becoming little more than political theater, a play that we constantly criticize but never meaningfully change for the better.


The more outrageous D.C. becomes, the more the entertainment industry feeds into it and the less we're paying attention to just how all of us who aren't in the club are getting screwed. We get locked out because of how awash in private money our government has become, and given that it's the government who makes the laws, it should be no surprise, but somehow still is, just how much is actually legal in this country. Provided you're involved with the law in some way, of course.


It wouldn't be a stretch to think the reason the D.N.C. is running Creepy Sleepy Joe Biden is because, quite frankly, The Beast is good for business. Anyone involved in any way with politics right now, whether you're spewing out garbage on prime time or running for office, is making money hand over fist. Why would anyone tell the truth when slanted bullshit sells far better?


Because after all, The Beast is the Greatest Show on Earth, being watched everywhere from Beijing to St. Petersburg, Florida. He's been a driving force in culture and politics over the last five years, cultivating his craft over a lifetime of selling snake oil and public masturbation. It would be hard to believe he doesn't orgasm every morning out of sheer joy at the fact that the whole world is watching him, waiting with bated breath to see him mumble during a speech, fire off an insane tweet demanding people respect him or which government employee he'll next say "You're fired!" to.


What a show, what a show. He says whatever he wants, the crowds go wild, and the sociopaths at Fox News keep raking in the money, while the narcissists at CNN praise themselves for being part of the #resistance.


Meanwhile, the FCC, especially under Ajit Pai, is nothing more than a toothless revenue machine at this point, only able to dole out punishments in the most egregious of examples while giving what amounts to free reign to telecommunications giants who attempt to control every aspect of how we access information. The only real regulations are the ones that keep those in power already in power while leaving everyone else out in the cold. We like to think we have choice in this country, but while there are 450 cable providers in the United States, only one has an availability footprint that covers over 111 million people, a third of the population. Do not pass go, do not have much of a choice in how you get your internet.

I could be wrong about all of this, and maybe there is a reason only one company has that kind of availability, but it doesn't seem right. And neither does the increasing privatization of information in the hands of corporations. If big government needs to go, big business needs to go along with it. We all agree they're basically two sides of the same coin, but no one can seem to agree that it makes the coin essentially worthless. In a country that prides itself on choice, we really don't have much of one, which brings me back to the political corporations that run our elections, and why I would vote for Kanye West.


The sole reason I would vote for him is because he would be the first truly independent candidate with a shot at winning the Presidency in the history of our country, a country that jerks off every July 4th but refuses to think outside of the liberal/conservative binary that we've become trapped in. So maybe I am a fan of chaos, but how else can we upend a system so deeply rooted and so deeply flawed?


There is no changing these corporations from within, because the majority of us don't work for them. And the reason we don't work for them is because, like any MLM scheme, it takes money to get in and what eventually amounts to the complete destruction of your soul to stay in. I'll suggest policy all day long, but I will never get involved in politics. The Beast is right that it's a swamp, and he's King Toad.


A lot of you are telling yourselves it will never happen, that there's no way he can possibly win. And you're right, but only right now. With no filings with the F.E.C. and no petitions floating around, this probably is nothing more than a publicity stunt. But even with the sheer fact of that truth staring us in the face, it is because of The Beast that we are collectively losing our shit in this country over a rapper with an outrageous public persona announcing a run at the presidency. The bull is in the china shop, we never seem to run out of china, and now other bulls are sizing up the doorway.


So yes, while President West is probably nothing more than a fever dream being had by an ill country, that's not to say that we won't find ourselves in this position again in four years. Especially if from now on, our only choices are our worst traits personified, because a story is only as good as it's villain. But maybe Kanye West can be that hero we need, because not only do I not see anyone else stepping up, but maybe him being elected President will finally convince people that it is true, anyone can be elected and voting independent can no longer be seen as throwing your vote away. But it will also still be true that it is only with a massive amount of money that anyone can do this.


 After all, this is America.

Jun 26, 2020

I Hate It Here: Castor Away

Originally published: 6/26/2020


I'm usually late for, well, everything. Work, classes, family functions. You name it, I'm probably going to be late to it. It’ll be amazing if I can even keep to deadlines I set for myself. I still show up though, so hopefully that counts for something. And usually I don't miss anything important. 


Like last Friday for instance. I met up with a friend to head to one of the protests that were happening in Tampa. And as usual, I was late. But also as usual, I didn't miss anything important.


I say that for two reasons. 


The first reason is that it was a protest that was joined by Mayor Jane Castor.


For those who don't live in Tampa or pay attention, Jane Castor, a Democrat since 2015, was elected Mayor of Tampa in 2019. Before that, she worked for the Tampa Police Department. She joined in 1984, became assistant chief in 2005 and was appointed to the top cop spot in 2009 and held it until 2015.


Needless to say, many of us do not trust her because of this.


If I'm writing truthfully and honestly, which is the point of me writing this whole thing, it feels as though any protest that includes city officials acting in any kind of official capacity that doesn't involve only listening is not a protest. It's a p.r. stunt, a god damn photo op like The Beast holding a bible that doesn't belong to him in front of a burned out church he’s only visited because if he didn’t he might lose Alabama. The second reason I say that is because I heard what I would consider the important part. The part where Mayor Castor lied.


Although, maybe she didn't lie. Maybe “lie” is too strong of a word, considering how little the media is willing to use it in relation to anything, whether it’s themselves or The Beast.


I guess a better way to say it is that she misled. She stated that everybody IN the city of Tampa earns a fifteen dollar an hour minimum wage. Had she wanted to be honest, and not mislead, then she would have said that EMPLOYEES OF the city of Tampa make fifteen dollars an hour. Language is important, especially for a politician. Because otherwise assholes like me will tear you apart for it on the internet. It's dishonest, and in my eyes nothing to brag about. Harsh? Maybe. But I don't think I'm wrong in saying it's fuckery for the mayor to claim she did good for the people of Tampa when city employee's make up a little over 1 percent of the population. And that's assuming they even live in Tampa.


Remember though, how I said I always show up? That was not the case for Castor this past Tuesday, June 23rd, at the Citizen Review Board meeting. Which was, again, another lie.


How did she lie about showing up? If you knew about this meeting, then you know why I'm saying that. Her face was plastered on the flyer. When a city official places their face on a flyer inviting the public to come speak, they damn well better show up. And she never did.


The irony of this is that I arrived early. 


I entered the convention center maybe a quarter to six, had my temp checked, passed through the metal detector and seated myself in the meeting room. I had an intense feeling I didn't belong there, or that maybe I had missed something. There were around thirty people in the room. I recognized a few of them from protests I had been to, namely members of the Black Collective Movement of Tampa, an organization I highly respect but unfortunately have yet to speak with yet. I was a little disheartened, because I had been hoping more people would show up. Later on, I would realize this was not the case. A lot of citizens showed up.


In order to uphold social distancing guidelines, they were only letting in a certain amount of people. The problem, though, is that it would have been baseline decent of them to explain that for more people to come in and speak, others would need to leave. They held a public forum during a pandemic in what I read someone describe as the “smallest room” of the convention center. THE FUCKING CONVENTION CENTER. I originally left so someone could take my seat after I had spoken out against T.P.D. doxxing and intimidating a protester. When I left, I heard a commotion over by the metal detectors.


From what I could see, there was a group of people being denied entry due to social distancing guidelines. I loudly announced I was leaving so that someone else could go in and speak, because fuck these guys if they're gonna pull some fuckery to keep the people from speaking.


This next part I gladly admit: I got a couple things wrong when I spoke to the board, which I really do feel bad about. I don't have the best memory, for reasons that I really don't need to get into here. I had shut off my phone also. However, there really is no excuse and I need to be better in the future. I said he, when in fact it was a woman they had doxxed. I called her a protester, which whether she does or doesn't, I don't know. But I did get the intimidation part right. For anyone who is unaware of what happened: After a run-in with T.P.D., a Black woman by the name of Joneshia Wilkerson had her name, age, phone number and address released to the public. When asked if this was appropriate for a police department to do, the spokesperson replied "If Wilkerson feels threatened, she can contact the authorities." 


What in the ever loving fuck does that sound like to you?


I only spoke up about the doxxing because I didn't know if anyone was going to, and I could not in good conscience let it stand. When a fellow citizen is threatened by those in power, it is incumbent upon all of us to speak

up.


However, something happened that I did not expect.


Joneshia Wilkerson approached the podium. She told her whole story, spoken with a tempered emotion I doubt I would be able to have, had it been me T.P.D. doxxed. I was, and still am, completely floored by her courage. She speaks at around the forty minute mark during the recording of the meeting that is on YouTube. If you are at all a decent human being, you will listen to this woman's plea for help. I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through, and there is no other way to describe it than a complete failing of the system. A failure to do the one thing they always say they swear to do.


Protect. 


I will not go into every detail of the meeting. The stream is up on YouTube, as I said. I encourage everyone, whether you think the protests are right or not, to watch it. The meeting lasted almost three hours. It was practically all public comments. It's interesting to note that people seemed uncertain about giving their addresses after I pointed out the doxxing, and many were even less forthcoming with any information about themselves after Joneshia spoke. Curious, no? 


I heard awful stories, things that will depress you if you have a soul. But I also heard amazing speakers. People filled with passion and courage, again by many people far younger than I, willing to speak out against the abuses perpetrated against them. I listened to as many as I could, impressed by the courage of my fellow citizens to speak directly to the board and Brian Dugan, T.P.D. chief.


Dugan didn't listen. 


The chief spent a majority of the meeting on his phone, not paying any attention to the numerous citizens who were pleading for his attention. I watched several of them directly address him, only for him to ignore them almost completely.


Like at many of the protests I had been to, the Democratic Socialists of America had made an appearance. They also came to speak, and came with a list of demands. I wanted to ask D.S.A. about their initial thoughts on the meeting, and their reaction to Chief Dugan flat out not giving a shit. Three of them were gracious enough to speak with me, a veritable nobody.


"I think it's a complete farce if the mayor can't even show up." said Getulio Gonzalez-Mulattieri. He explained that they had given the review board a list of demands, and that "hopefully they take that seriously, because these protests won't stop soon otherwise." 


I asked him how likely he thought it was that they would listen to their demands.


"How likely? I don't know. I think that we're open to negotiate with them, but that we would like to see a defunding of the police department, and some tangible changes to what's going on here in the community."


I then asked about Dugan and his apparent lack of care.


"It's cool man, I like video games too. If he's on his phone the entire time, what can I say?"


I next turned to Quinton LoRe, asking him the same questions.


"I think it says a lot that Mayor Castor wasn't there. I understand she gets invited to a lot of things, as a mayor of a decent sized city. But if this doesn't make your priority list during a time like this, maybe you shouldn't be mayor."


And on Dugan?


"Dude sucks. I thought he was bad at his job, an hour and a half ago. And now seeing him do all this, he's bad at his job and a terrible person."

Finally, I spoke to Lisandra Morales. She explained that she had been invited by Getulio, her mentor, and that she had no expectations due to the rising tensions in the city.


"Unfortunately I kinda had a feeling Jane Castor wasn't going to come," she said. "Just because I've seen multiple town halls on either Facebook or the internet in general where she was invited but she did not come so it kinda shows what kind of leadership she holds in the city."


She said that she was glad she came to the meeting, however, so she could give her minutes to her mentor so he could present D.S.A's list of demands.

In that regard, she felt it went really well.


When asked about Dugan, she echoed the same concerns that he clearly does not give a shit.


"When I saw on, again, a virtual town hall where he called protesters hypocrites and basically how the Tampa DA actually guides the demonstrations, I knew he was a bad man from the start. But actually seeing him be on the phone, talking, whispering in the ear of a woman, and just flipping through his papers while people are literally demanding for their lives to be protected, it just shows the kind of people that are in authority right now and I find it completely disgusting."


I thanked them for their time and continued milling around the convention center. The meeting was still going on, but I figured I could watch the rest at home. I still wasn't quite ready to leave. I wanted to talk to at least a couple more people.


Luckily, I did find two more people who were willing to talk to me, but only if they could speak on condition of anonymity. I was happy to oblige, completely understanding their position. After all, T.P.D. is now doxxing private citizens.


"I believe that it's important that we got a space that was conducive to our voices though I believe that nothing will be done. They now know that we are not going to let up, we are not going to stand down, and we will continue to have a maximum presence as far as our plight is concerned. As far as Chief Dugan, I could tell him where he could put it."


I turned to their friend, asking their thoughts.


"First off, that's really how we feel, as Black people, as people in our community. The police, they fucking us over. They really are. And then you got Chief Dugan in there, saying the same as in Atlanta, how they don't have our backs and they're all against us. I'm like, we're literally dying out here. We're dying out here, we're being attacked. Shit's not right. And like she said, I can tell Chief Dugan where to put it. Fuck Chief Dugan. Fuck him."


They're not wrong.


Let's go over this again. The mayor put her face on a flier, and didn't even show up to the meeting. The chief of police showed up, but didn't bother to listen, spending the meeting playing Candy Crush or some other shit and not listening to what the people had to say. Tampa Police Department was invited and encouraged to show, but the only police that were there were assigned to be there.


I left after speaking to the last two, even more emboldened by the courage of Joneshia Wilkerson to write the column you are now reading.


It wasn't until I got home, however, that I saw Dugan's response, and boy, what a piece of shit. To accuse your citizens, the people the police love to claim they swore an oath to protect, of not caring until George Floyd died and that this will only be fixed by listening to each other is, well, pure horseshit. How can you get up there and tell people they aren't listening when you spent the past three hours ignoring the cries for help from your citizens? And then to turn tail like a coward when it was time to answer questions?


No wonder a protest was quickly organized for the following day.


So there you have it, readers. The Citizen Review Board meeting. I'm still processing everything as I write this. It's clear that the city officials don't care, and when that happens, where does that leave the citizenry? When the very people you put in charge to help seem unwilling, and in fact seem willing to put you in harm's way, where do you turn? I wish I had an answer, or some way to fix this. But I don't. All I can do is write about it.


I realize it's easy for me to say all this. It's easy for me to pick apart the people in power. But the truth is, it shouldn't be. It's only easy for me to do this because they're making it easy. Lying to your citizens, doxxing and then intimidating them, and telling people they need to listen when you ignore them in the first place is not something we should accept from any official in any capacity.


I make no claim to being perfect. Far from it. But I'm not an elected official. And I don't ever want to be one, because I recognize the sacrifices it takes, not to mention the intelligence and other incredibly important traits I don't believe I have. Or at least, not on a level a public official should have. Also, like I said, I'm late all the time.


But at least I show up.


I Hate It Here: I Think We're Headed For A Breakdown, Gloria

Did any of us really think things were going to be different? Like, the second the minute turned from :59 to :00, what, magically everything...