I Hate It Here: President West? President Best! or Why This Is Even A Thing

I can't believe I'm about to write what I'm about to write, but I think it's important I do, so everyone can understand that I haven't gone crazy.

Yes. I would vote for Kanye West for President.

But only because, unfortunately, I see it as the only way to kill the two party system. The system we all love to hate, but for whatever reason just can't bring ourselves to undo. It would be easy. Just don't vote for these fucks. There's always another candidate. But no one wants to be the first to do it. It's not hard to see why, considering the vast amounts of money it takes to run. Who has the time or resources to fight what these assholes bring to the table?

Most of us don't. And I realize that as I write this, there are people with almost nothing to their name fighting and literally dying to change a four hundred year old increasingly powerful and armed system. But that’s part of it, because that system, and the one I’m going to write about, protect each other.

In a 2018 interview with Charlamagne tha God, Kanye West said that his presidency would be "the Trump campaign and maybe the Bernie Sanders principles. That would be my mix."

We need to think about that statement, and what it means in the context of modern American politics.

As I type this, America is going through turmoil that we haven't seen in some time. And in a large way, yes, this is absolutely the fault of The Beast. There is no denying that. His pandemic response was awful, his economic policies still worse, a veritable Republican wet dream. But how is it that the system is so fragile that somehow he was able to upend it? This is The Beast. He has no ideology, nothing in his head but waking up everyday just so he can fuck someone else over. There is no morality there, ill or good. Just a worms for brains white man with a lot of money who was never told no. This is our President. god bless america.

But since people seem to love analogies so much, I have one for you.

"A bull is gonna do what he's gonna do. But how is the china shop run so badly that he got in there in the first place?"

The answer isn't as complicated as it seems, but you need to pull back far enough to get a clear picture. The fact is our country is run by corporations. And this isn't a conspiracy either. Both the D.N.C. and the R.N.C. are private organizations, whose authority only comes from their ability to get people elected. That's what I mean by it not being so complicated. And it's going to take more than adding term limits to fix them. There have been studies which support this, but it lays bare an even bigger problem. Politics is a profession, and like any profession it takes time to learn the ropes. But since a large share of our employees are business people or lawyers, it's not hard to see why the government doesn't care about anyone else. And the two major employers are basically involved in price fixing.

Neither of these corporations are really beholden to the people but only one has a system which actually does make sure of that, that fact having been proven in court as far as the D.N.C. is concerned. That means it's up to the shareholders. They can elect whoever they want to run our lives. And this is going to get a lot of people I know angry, but that doesn't make it less true: the GOP, the gerrymandering, voter suppressing assholes that they are, actually do have a fairer primary. You don't have to be a registered Republican, unlike the D.N.C., to vote. Also, there are no superdelegates. This allows the voters to retain control of the election process. Simply put, this is how Donald Trump was able to get in, while Bernie Sanders got shut out.

Say what you will about Bernie Sanders' campaign against Biden, 2016 was a lot closer than anyone, especially the D.N.C., wants to admit. Bernie lost by a thousand delegates, but only by 3 million in the popular vote. That's a disparity that is blinding to anyone, even in sunglasses. Had independents not been locked out of the vote, things could have wound up very differently for Hillary Clinton.

And I voted for Sanders in the primary this time around the same as last, because I refuse to vote for Joe Biden. I refuse to let private corporations run my life any longer.

Honestly, vote however you want. I'm not going to tell anyone what to do. I'm going to be honest about those in power, because I'm real sick of electing war criminals to the highest office in the land, but I'm not going to get aggressive with how anyone votes. At least not anymore. Because this is the game now, and they've pretty much won.

We can feel the aggression anytime anyone mentions Sleepy Creepy Joe or The Beast. We're at each other's throats. Somehow they've been able to convince us to split up families, just because they've stirred up so much fear that we have white people who are oblivious to the fact that Black Lives Matter does not mean White Lives Matter Less. That is the most ignorant take a person can have, but ignorance isn't hard to believe in a country that continuously slashes education budgets while doing nothing to legitimately prepare people for life, or at least life in the context of the society that we created.

Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, fuck, even OAN; argue all you like how they should be more fair and balanced, but the fact is they are under no obligation to do so. And why would they? What business has ever reversed course and risked profits for the sake of the public good without being held at gunpoint? After all, as the song goes, "One is fun, why not two? And if you like two, you might as well have four, and if you like four, why not a few? Why not a slew? More!"

The problem is money, and not even the most liberal of CNN commentators would ever really admit it. The conservatives have a point. The government is massive, an industry in itself. It creates thousands of jobs, and not just the ones you're probably thinking of. It's effect on the entertainment industry is staggering, especially considering the amount of political entertainment that has popped up over the last few years, and while the line has blurred for some time now, it's starting to disappear completely.

For anyone who disagrees, I can only pose the question: When is the last time you watched C-Span?

I already know what the answer probably is for most of you, and congressional hearings so you can have something to say at the water cooler don't count. I'm just as guilty of this, and that really needs to stop.

Politics has always fueled our culture, as much as no one wants to talk about politics in "polite society", which has always been a fantasy to shield us from our own demons. And when has polite society ever been entertaining? The more we blur the line between entertainment and government, the worse our politics and our government is only going to get.

That's not to say that there is no merit to political entertainment. One of the most important aspects of a free society is freedom of speech, and that means being able to say whatever you want about the government, no matter who is in power. We need political entertainment, especially satire, to lay bare the fact that the powerful are only human, whether it's The Beast or George Washington. 

There is a difference, however, between shows like House of Cards and the last season of Parks and Recreation. One is fiction, and good fiction always has some element of truth to it. The other is just creating a cult of personality around the powerful, and with the way we've turned celebrities and their lives into a fetish in this country, it's no wonder our politicians are getting away with whatever they want, no matter which of the two private corporations they belong to.

It's even worse with the way the news industry has gotten over the years, and quite honestly it's going to take more than just reinstating the Fairness Doctrine to fix it. The Fairness Doctrine is from a time when I couldn't get on a live stream and beam directly into someone's living room, spouting whatever nonsense I wanted and getting them to believe me based on guile alone. If we believe in progress in this country, then we need to understand that includes almost every aspect of the society we created, including how we not only access information, but how we verify its accuracy and keep people from being easily duped. But with no checks on ourselves, D.C. is becoming little more than political theater, a play that we constantly criticize but never meaningfully change for the better.

The more outrageous D.C. becomes, the more the entertainment industry feeds into it and the less we're paying attention to just how all of us who aren't in the club are getting screwed. We get locked out because of how awash in private money our government has become, and given that it's the government who makes the laws, it should be no surprise, but somehow still is, just how much is actually legal in this country. Provided you're involved with the law in some way, of course.

It wouldn't be a stretch to think the reason the D.N.C. is running Creepy Sleepy Joe Biden is because, quite frankly, The Beast is good for business. Anyone involved in any way with politics right now, whether you're spewing out garbage on prime time or running for office, is making money hand over fist. Why would anyone tell the truth when slanted bullshit sells far better?

Because after all, The Beast is the Greatest Show on Earth, being watched everywhere from Beijing to St. Petersburg, Florida. He's been a driving force in culture and politics over the last five years, cultivating his craft over a lifetime of selling snake oil and public masturbation. It would be hard to believe he doesn't orgasm every morning out of sheer joy at the fact that the whole world is watching him, waiting with bated breath to see him mumble during a speech, fire off an insane tweet demanding people respect him or which government employee he'll next say "You're fired!" to.

What a show, what a show. He says whatever he wants, the crowds go wild, and the sociopaths at Fox News keep raking in the money, while the narcissists at CNN praise themselves for being part of the #resistance.

Meanwhile, the FCC, especially under Ajit Pai, is nothing more than a toothless revenue machine at this point, only able to dole out punishments in the most egregious of examples while giving what amounts to free reign to telecommunications giants who attempt to control every aspect of how we access information. The only real regulations are the ones that keep those in power already in power while leaving everyone else out in the cold. We like to think we have choice in this country, but while there are 450 cable providers in the United States, only one has an availability footprint that covers over 111 million people, a third of the population. Do not pass go, do not have much of a choice in how you get your internet.

I could be wrong about all of this, and maybe there is a reason only one company has that kind of availability, but it doesn't seem right. And neither does the increasing privatization of information in the hands of corporations. If big government needs to go, big business needs to go along with it. We all agree they're basically two sides of the same coin, but no one can seem to agree that it makes the coin essentially worthless. In a country that prides itself on choice, we really don't have much of one, which brings me back to the political corporations that run our elections, and why I would vote for Kanye West.

The sole reason I would vote for him is because he would be the first truly independent candidate with a shot at winning the Presidency in the history of our country, a country that jerks off every July 4th but refuses to think outside of the liberal/conservative binary that we've become trapped in. So maybe I am a fan of chaos, but how else can we upend a system so deeply rooted and so deeply flawed?

There is no changing these corporations from within, because the majority of us don't work for them. And the reason we don't work for them is because, like any MLM scheme, it takes money to get in and what eventually amounts to the complete destruction of your soul to stay in. I'll suggest policy all day long, but I will never get involved in politics. The Beast is right that it's a swamp, and he's King Toad.

A lot of you are telling yourselves it will never happen, that there's no way he can possibly win. And you're right, but only right now. With no filings with the F.E.C. and no petitions floating around, this probably is nothing more than a publicity stunt. But even with the sheer fact of that truth staring us in the face, it is because of The Beast that we are collectively losing our shit in this country over a rapper with an outrageous public persona announcing a run at the presidency. The bull is in the china shop, we never seem to run out of china, and now other bulls are sizing up the doorway.

So yes, while President West is probably nothing more than a fever dream being had by an ill country, that's not to say that we won't find ourselves in this position again in four years. Especially if from now on, our only choices are our worst traits personified, because a story is only as good as it's villain. But maybe Kanye West can be that hero we need, because not only do I not see anyone else stepping up, but maybe him being elected President will finally convince people that it is true, anyone can be elected and voting independent can no longer be seen as throwing your vote away. But it will also still be true that it is only with a massive amount of money that anyone can do this.

 After all, this is America.