I Hate It Here: Lee Greenwood Is History's Greatest Monster

Fine.

You know what, America?

You win. You fucking win.

Bomb all the countries you want, murder and imprison all the innocent you want, lie as much and take as much and fuck us over as much as you god damn want.

But I never want to hear that fucking Lee Greenwood song ever again for as long as I may live.

I envy the deaf every time I hear it. And I know that's fucked up to say, but seriously, that song somehow sends me into a rage greater than I have ever known while simultaneously strangling whatever emotions I have in me until there is nothing left but a shell. It’s just the worst kind of lame. The kind of shit that people play to show their patriotism even though every time that song plays a bald eagle drops dead out of the sky. I bet The Beast hates it too, And I bet right now he’s thinking of a song that actually has any kind of artistic merit without being sued again.

I'm currently listening to and half-watching The Beasts second coronation as the leader of neoconservatism, which is almost as bad as neoliberalism. At least neoconservatism doesn't hide what it's motives are. The shit is there for everyone to smell. It's those NIMBY fucks you really gotta watch out for.

It's sad, really. I used to view the Republican Party, and a lot of people probably won't believe this, as at the very least a worthy enemy. Of course, we're talking at least fifteen years ago, just when social media was starting to emerge and we still had some respect for the news. Before Iraq, before everything just seemed to fall apart at the seams. No wonder my generation is so fucking damaged. Largest terrorist attack on American soil, two wars that are somehow still going on because opium is such a cash crop and every year we lose more and more respect for each other and ourselves thanks to us never learning how to use the internet as responsible people.

I don't know how any of you real conservatives can stand it. I get why the Evangelicals have latched on. They're lunatics. But you guys? I mean I realize Fox News has had a monopoly on your news for what seems like forever and it's getting harder and harder to find fair, unbiased coverage but I know there are a lot of you out there that look at this and can't believe it.

What I don't understand is how any of you can believe this shit I'm hearing dribble out of his mouth right now. How can any of you believe that Joe Biden is a socialist or that the Democrats are as controlled by the progressive wing as The Blaze wants to tell you? Look at the man's voting record, his bills for fucks sake.

The rhetoric is unbelievable. Well, almost unbelievable. We've had almost four years of this shit. And so many of you lap it up. Joe Biden is not a leftist, the same way The Beast is not any sort of Christian, and that so many of you who claim to be faithful but aren't lunatics still believe in him is nothing short of just plain depressing to me.

And The Beast went there. I fucking knew it. I said to myself, "He is absolutely going to mention Biden being a fucking creep." and man did he go there.

Like I said, I knew he would. And this is why I can’t take the GOP seriously anymore, at least not anyone who isn’t in office because like I say ad nausea, the only true ideology of either parties elected officials is “Gimme, gimme, gimme!”

You were the supposed moral arbiters of America. The party that wanted to put warning labels on my rock and roll albums and lock me up forever over a gram of coke. But now you’ve somehow become the party of crass loudmouths who have given up any semblance of dignity. Is the irony of militias with “Don’t Tread on Me” tatted on their foreheads allying themselves with state-sanctioned protectors of property lost on all of you? I mean jesus christ, when it’s the liberals telling you that something is too far maybe it fucking is. And these bullshit calls for civility. I’m tired of hearing about civility from the right when they elected a guy who sued his wife over calling him a rapist in her memoirs. 

Oh, you utter piece of shit. You got Nora you killed you absolutely evil cum stain on the eye of the world. How fucking dare you talk about betrayals and endless wars when you approved a mission that everyone told you was a bad idea and have only increased troop presence in the Middle East.

You were broke, and you have done nothing but spend our money on your golf trips. Millions of dollars that have now lined his pockets because of course every golf trip had to involve a trip to a Beast owned course. It has not been America First, it has never been America First. It's been You Rich Assholes First and the rest of us need to fight over what's left.

I just turned it off. I can't listen to the repetition anymore. I admit there has been good done, seemingly at times in spite of this prick, but it's all meaningless because it's nothing more than a rapid expansion of a corporate police state. The problem with the Democrats is that it's so natural you don't even notice it. Sure, they let gay people marry and might not mind if you smoke a j now and then, but it's nothing short of theater when they're taking the same money as the douche bags on the other side of the aisle. But now, when you have Democratic mayors charging protesters with felonies for buying paint and people like Jane Castor who simply switched over to the Dems so she could run in Tampa but has made her disdain for any type of meaningful change to the police department rather clear, how does anyone even tell the difference anymore?

It's like there isn't even two parties, it's just a bunch of assholes running around doing shit and getting people killed. They fill their fridges full of coconut water and go on vacation while millions of Americans are facing food and housing crises and The Beast just stands on top of the White House and shouts at the pigeons that if it wasn't for Joe Biden he totally would have had a shot with Miss America in 1992.

And everyone looks and just goes, "Huh." It's like we just cannot care anymore. There is nothing left. I keep shouting about how it doesn't matter who we vote for because none of these people have our best interests at heart and it's just, "Change takes time." Like, no shit, but what has really changed? Everything, but not in a good way. Somehow, and this includes me, we keep getting dumber and dumber and falling for the same old shit. The Beast is no outlier. This is the new normal. Pelosi, Schumer, all these fucks will capitalize on it if they win, but I see that as pretty unlikely given the corpse they've chosen to carry their battle standard into the future. And now Pelosi wants to cancel the debates, which means she might as well just come out and say that Biden has trouble with his sentences.

The Beast has laid bare everything wrong with the system, and in no meaningful way have the Democrats tried to fight it. Think about how many stories we've heard this year, even in the past couple of months, that should be bigger but given how often they spew out this shit it's remarkable anyone is able to keep track of anything.

Kelly Anne Conway should have been fired a long time ago for her blatant violations of the Hatch Act. Mitch McConnell's wife definitely needs to be investigated, but they fired the investigators so I guess that will never happen. The Beast has clearly been enriching himself and his family, but I don't think any of them actually have the stomach to try to remove him. A lot of those Emolument Clause charges were pretty stupid, if I'm remembering correctly plus we all knew that impeachment was going nowhere. And DeVos definitely needs to be investigated, because I want to know just what her and her war criminal brother were doing on the board of that Build The Wall company, you know, the one that Bannon just got arrested for because the whole thing was just a scam. That last bit of obvious corruption was buried at the bottom of a Reuters article, and I haven't seen anything about it since and I probably won't anymore. But the country is on fire and untrained 17 year old's are killing people to protect dry cleaners so I get it, it's hard to keep track right now.

And I know, everyone wants things to go back to normal. But I don't think it's going to. I think we're in for a hard, cold winter and it will be a while before we see the light again. I have some hope, mostly I hope I'm wrong, but there is hope that somehow we can come out better than this, that we can find our common decency again and remember that to be an American is to stand in solidarity and lend your neighbor a hand, whether he's conservative or liberal or an illegal immigrant, fleeing a country we indebted and fucked up and who has traveled hundreds of miles just to be exploited at the hands of American industry.

A majority of people just aren't getting it yet, and while we blame the unemployed and can’t seem to accept the simple truth that Black Lives Matter and there is still work to be done, they keep doing whatever the fuck they want and we let them as long they let us get haircuts and go out to eat.

Seriously though, I really could forgive all of it if I never have to hear that Lee Greenwood song again.

I Hate It Here: This Machine Kills Children

 I finally fully understand why Spider went up a god damn mountain and why Hunter lived far fucking away from the rest of you.

I realize I sound like a paranoid crazy person, but a paranoid is just someone with all the facts, and were the facts blood I would be drowning right now. Not that our American Empire has ever lacked for blood. I can't stand the killing anymore. I just fucking can't. Whether it's Black Americans being gunned down in the streets or entire Afghan wedding parties being wiped off the map, it's all just too goddamn much.

I know I said I was gonna do a whole thing on the DNC, but I just fucking can't. I watched the first night and live tweeted it (follow @schwabthedeck for my off the cuff half baked statements), and I’ve decided that's about all I can stomach. I watched ten minutes of Kamala's speech, but all I could think about were the hundreds of innocent Americans she helped keep locked up. I'd be a real fucking hypocrite to support that shit and still protest the unceasing brutality that is the American justice system. And then I watched Biden's speech, which I forced myself to watch all of.

And it was just as I expected, more meaningless rhetoric from a tired, dead-eyed old man with nothing to give but the possibility of a Harris presidency. The whole thing is disgusting and the fact that anyone still supports this shit boggles my mind, the biggest traitors being anyone who left the Democrats just to join up with the sociopaths at the GOP, who blindly follow The Beast no matter how naked he marches up and down the streets to the tune of every other fascist fuck to ever walk the earth. And these monkeys keep clanging their cymbals and so many of you keep falling for it.

But back to the killing.

Does it really not bother any of you? Does it really not bother you that everything we do and a sizable amount of our money goes to extrajudicial killings abroad? I realize I am just as much a part of that system as anyone else, but god damn it will I find a way to get the fuck out of Dodge.

The amount of illegally murdered civilians is honestly too numerous to mention here, so there are two particular murders I'm going to focus on: One committed by Obama, the murderous psychopath you all seem to revere, and another by The Beast, who is every bit the boogeyman so many of you know he is but seem to refuse to do anything about the system that him put there in the first place. Also, point of order, considering the fuckery of our government, there is no clear count of how many innocent people we've turned into hamburger, so I'm going to type two names now, and I want you to remember two things about these children, I repeat children, that our government so callously murdered in the name of "national defense". Before I dive into this, though, I just want to remind everyone reading this that I am not privy to any special information. It's just nobody seemed to care about anything until a Pandemic took their job and a cop took an innocent man's life over a twenty dollar bill.

Abdulrahman al-Awlaki

Nawar "Nora" al-Awlaki

They were children. Abdulrahman was 16, Nawar only eight years old. They were both U.S. citizens, and they deserved way more than they got. I don't care what kind of family they were born into, I don't care why they were where they were, I don't care about any of that and neither should anyone else. How anyone can justify the murder of children, especially the murder of children by their very own government, is beyond foreign to me and quite frankly, that is a country I will never visit. So I hope you all have fun in Whogivesashitville, capital city of the nation of Fuckitall. But this is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night, along with all the other evil fuckery our government gets up to in the name of freedom and security.

Abdulrahman's father was Anwar al-Alaki, a suspected terrorist who was murdered extra judicially only two weeks before his son. And before you death junkies start fapping away at that sentence, you should know that Anwar al-Alaki was an American citizen, which, like it or not, entitles him to the same due process as you or I, and that definitely doesn't mean being placed on a C.I.A. kill list by the president. But who gives a fuck about due process when you're fighting a war you started in countries that you have never officially declared war on.

This is the absolute insanity that I drown myself in constantly and frankly it's no wonder people tell me to seek help because I don't know how I'm supposed to stay sane in a country that drops the word democracy almost as much as it drops bombs.

I don't know why Abdulrahman was there at the time the drone strike took his life, and apparently neither does the U.S. government. He never should have died to begin with, because quite honestly we should not be dropping bombs in countries that we are not at war with in any area where there could be civilian casualties because I thought we were better than that, but maybe I could move past it, if not for two things.

First, there's the absolute callousness within the government for the death of a U.S. citizen. Former White House press secretary and awful human being Robert Gibbs was quoted as saying, "I would suggest that you should have a far more responsible father if they are truly concerned about the well-being of their children." Let that sink in for a moment. The White House press secretary, after his boss illegally murdered a father and son, placed the blame on the father. So I guess, according to the Obama administration, if a kid dies because of a negligent or abusive parent it's the kids fault. Awesome. Thanks, Obama.

Second, and I can't even believe I'm gonna type this because it doesn't feel real that I'm typing it, but it wouldn't be so bad if The Beast didn't order the eventual murder of Abdulrahman's little sister.

She shouldn't be dead. I don't fucking care who is going to try to tell me otherwise. She was a child and she was murdered so The Beast could look like a big man. Again, I don't give a fuck about why she was in the house. Every article I read about the raid that got her killed has either the word "risky", "botched" or some other similar word to describe an operation that never should have been ordered. They were planning that raid well before The Beast came into power, so no shit this vain cockstain decides to go through with it, just to show the world that he has the balls he claimed to have on the campaign trail. Well, congratulations you utter piece of shit, your total vanity cost an 8 year old American citizen her life.

Again, I really don't know how any of you can stand for this shit and I don't know how it doesn't drive you crazy to know that your tax dollars keep going towards utter horror like this no matter who you vote for. Do any of you honestly believe Joe Biden is going to draw down our troop strength in the Middle East? His DNC speech made literally NO MENTION of foreign policy of any kind, at least that I can remember through the absolute disgust I have for that dead-eyed lying prick.

Quite honestly, it's just laziness at this point. Everyone acts concerned but they're too god damn lazy to look for other options, or somehow, even after the D.N.C. stole Wisconsin from Bernie Sanders or The Beast drove the public health into the ground so the stock market could keep humming, everyone is still just too happy to play up the two party game.

Fuck. That.

You people had three and half years to explore other options and candidates, and because you were all too busy watching political theater and wiping the greasy smudges off your opera glass, somehow it will be my fault if The Beast gets another four years? Fucking spare me your nonsense.

Even now, you could all change your minds. We're still three months from the election, and not a single one of you are excited about voting Old/Cop or Beast/Sociopath and you know it. But keep on with that hope and change man, because that shit worked so well when Obama was building cages and wondering how he could get a bullet in the back of Edward Snowden's skull.

This isn't about "taking a stand against the system", this about no longer being party to extrajudicial murder while minority communities continue to suffer at the hands of a racist and cruel justice system. It already disgusts me that I'm paying for it, but I'll be fucking damned if I'm gonna keep voting for it.

Fuck.

I need to find a god damn mountain.

I Hate It Here: El Zucko's Magical Misery Machine

Addiction.

I can only imagine all the images that word conjures up. Heroin needles and rolled up dollar bills, empty bottles and roach clips. Drugs can be fucked up, no question, if you're reckless and don't do any research beforehand. Don't get me wrong, there was a time where if someone handed me a fist full of pills I would think, "Why not?" But I was lucky. There were definitely some close calls, but nothing too serious. And considering the friends I've lost, there is definitely a survivor's guilt there. I may never have touched heroin, but I was dumb enough to sign up for Facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg is the biggest drug dealer on the planet, and I doubt even he knows it. Social media addiction is a real thing, and it's something I'm fighting right now. Permanently deleting Facebook is the first step in taking my life back from social media, but it's going to be a long road. We've made it nearly impossible to be a part of society without some kind of social media connection, and considering I'm hoping this website will turn into something more than just me going off at the hip, I'm still going to need some form of social media to promote it.

But fuck if this isn't all just completely disgusting. You guys are fucking morons. And I'm sorry, because while there are a few of you I don't think about that way, the rest of you, I don't even know what to fucking say. Falling for 4Chan and right wing troll traps if you're a conservative, or if you're on the left, saying you would literally vote for Hitler if he was Biden's running mate after spending three and half fucking years comparing The Beast to Hitler. And what's worse is, the comparisons are actually becoming more numerous by the day, but plenty of people have stopped listening. That is to say, the people that need to be convinced The Beast is gonna fuck us all in the ass and wipe his cock on our hair have covered their ears and bent over. Disgusted? Good. Because again, this is all disgusting.

But this column isn't about The Beast, it's about the crazy emotional high we all seem to get off of the internet. Whether it's sharing memes that are just plain retarded, sharing articles from news sites that literally state they are satire and taking them at face value or sharing embarrassing videos of people on their worst days or just at their most human, I want to vomit at all of it. I realize it sounds like I'm riding the high horse up Morality Mountain, but that isn't it. I'm just tired of watching the same people asking for civility and showing no compassion for their fellow man. We've all done it, but now it's time to stop.

I know this is an addiction because of the amount of times I've tried to wean myself off. And it never works, so now it's time to go cold turkey. I might wind up needing to just smash my phone, but that would keep me completely locked out of society. Think on that and then keep bitching about Obama helping people get phones. Yeah, he deserves to be locked up in the Hague, but not for that.

None of you can tell me you don't get off on some of this, liberal or conservative. The videos may be different, the memes different templates and the articles from across the broad spectrum of bullshit that we call news today, but the sentiment is always the same. Ignorance and nastiness, and fuck if the Zuck isn't fapping on a pile of money knowing what he's doing to society.

Or a giant rock, if he is the lizard person we think he is.

I'm still wondering how it got this bad though, that even people who want to claim they take the high road never really seem to do it. I can still remember when MySpace first came onto the scene, and I'm sure a lot of us could tell this wasn't going to end well. And as much as I hate those fucking memes, Tyson is right, we all have forgotten what it's like to get punched in the mouth for something you say. I'm not advocating violence, but I am at the point where I don't care if someone swings on me. Someone has to say this shit.

Whether you're a jerkoff leftist who will preach about compassion for the poor and then give those same poor shit for joining the military when you damn well know they probably had no other options, or some right wing fuck who wants to scream about how all the Democrats are in a pedo ring when it was The Beast who put Alex Acosta, the guy who let Jeffrey Epstein off when they found LITERAL CHILD PORN in his home, in charge of the Department of Labor. I feel like a broken record at this point, but human trafficking also falls under the purview of the Department of Labor. But by all means, go on about how $46,000 on hot dogs is weird. Like these rich fucks weren't ordering the most expensive gourmet shit they can find.

Do I think Bill Clinton is a rapist? Yes. Do I think The Beast is a rapist? Yes. But this is my point. Everyone is so quick to get partisan that they forget the class divisions. It doesn't matter if you're Jeff Bezos or Rupert Murdoch, there comes a point where we need to realize that none of them, no matter what the letter next to their name says, have any of the interests of the working class at heart, the people who actually make this country work. You would think a pandemic would incite a little class solidarity. Guess not.

And god damn, do I love the irony coming from the right with their full-throated support of billionaires but at the same time going after George Soros and Bill Gates for having "undue influence." Like, if you morons can't see that the very problem is that they wield influence like that because they are that rich, then I have nothing more to say to you.

But I'm getting off topic again. Facebook is basically heroin. A quick high that is slowly destroying your brain. I only have the brain cells I have left because I would occasionally deactivate. I bet a lot of you don't even realize how much time you spend on there, especially in the currently charged climate. But I can guarantee it's a lot. And I know, because I'm on like all the time.

According to Statista.com, Facebook is expected to have 223.2 million users in the U.S., which is three million more than there were in 2018. That's two thirds of the country hooked on Zuckerberg's digital smack, and like the worst drugs, it's cheap and easily accessible. If you wanna talk about undue influence, especially considering how plainly Zuckerberg has made it clear he doesn't care about anything other than money, we need to talk about that. All it seems to be doing is making us dumber. I know Zuckerberg knows that both ethically and morally he is doing the wrong thing, but I highly doubt he's losing sleep over it.

Also like the worst drugs, the comedown is fucking terrible. Can any of you honestly say that you actually feel better after being on Facebook for any extended amount of time? It feels great while you're doing it up to a certain point, and then the rush fades away and you're left wondering why you just spent two hours scrolling through shit that isn't even really that funny and when did that family member get so racist? Honestly, I would rather blow through an ounce of coke and feel suicidal than deal with this shit anymore.

So that's it. Twenty four hours after I post this, I'm gone. And I'm really hoping it sticks, because I cannot do this anymore. Life is bad enough right now, I don't need to feel any worse. And that's all it's doing at this point.

I want to give Zuckerberg the benefit of the doubt, but if he is as smart as he acts like he is, he would've recognized how bad this shit was gonna get years ago. But he decided to completely ignore it, especially after they launched their IPO. But tell me again how greed is not the problem. What was it that Jesus said about camels and rich men? You know, that guy you are ALL so proud of quoting. But fuck if Jesus wouldn't whip most of you like the moneylenders for how little compassion you show your fellow man, liberal or conservative.

I'm not here to tell anyone what to do. You are all adults and can make your own decisions, but with election season coming up we really need to take stock of what's important and what exactly our values are, and these cannot be our values. I'm just as guilty as everyone else of this behavior, but I'm making a conscious decision to stop and I implore you all to do the same.

The worst part about it, and the reason I've been so reluctant to get rid of it in the first place, is because it's become so ingrained in our culture (remember, 220 million users) that how else can I keep in touch with everyone? It really does make it so easy, but maybe that's the problem. It shouldn't be this easy. All relationships take work, and there is very little actual work happening on Facebook.

So I guess this is goodbye to a bunch of you. I'll miss you all, I really will. But we're headed down a bad track and the conductor is doing nothing but shouting "Faster!" while shoveling coal like a madman. This train is about to go off the rails, and we are coming up on a rather populated city.

I hope we can correct it, but I think we passed the track switch a couple years ago.